Do you hear me, I'm talking to you... I turned 30 on December 3. The week of my birthday, I ate cupcakes for breakfast 4 days and worked 60 hours. That is not how I want to live my life.
Lucky to be coming home again...
Identifying how I don't want to live my life led to thinking a lot about how I became who I am today and the people that have influenced me.
In third grade in Mrs. Strickland's advanced math class, we had begun long division. I was sitting in the doctor's office with my mom and grandfather one afternoon working on my homework when my grandaddy looked at me and said "it looks like you like that." He was correct, I did. The next thing he said was "you should be an engineer." I didn't know what an engineer was at that point in my life, but because my grandaddy said I should be one and my grandaddy was my favorite person on this planet, I was determined I would be one.
Fast forward nine years to a conversation with my favorite teacher, Mrs. Tekulve. I spent a lot of time at that point in my life in a dead panic about being the best; being #1 on the math team, getting the best scholarships, and knowing exactly where my life was going. As I am rambling on and on one day about "what if this...what if that" she looked at me at said "who cares, Hef, you will be okay regardless." Why she called me Hef is another story entirely, but that I would be okay was something I needed to hear right then more than anything else.
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed...
Around 17 or 18 I really started questioning a lot of things. I had most certainly "tested" boundaries before then, but I'm not sure I ever really put a lot of thought into why I believed the things I did and what the basis for my decisions were. I babysat 3 adorable children all through high school and late one night when I was staying with them I had a really interesting conversation with their mom. Today, I can't remember what started the conversation, but I will never forget what she told me: "your parents aren't always right." That seems so obvious today; no one is always right. However, at that time in my life, hearing someone say that was revolutionary.
Five years later, after I had finished undergrad and gotten married, I was having lunch with my friend Jennifer. I was at Georgia Tech at the time and interacting with some of the most liberal individuals I had ever encountered. I liked a lot of what I was hearing, but a lot of it was very different from what had been ingrained in me growing up in a small southern town. I remember sitting across from Jennifer in her living room and saying "how the hell do I figure out what I believe?" She looked at me and very directly said, "well, you just have to decide what basic principles are important to you and go from there." We had a long conversation about politics, religion, morality, and every other topic you can imagine. To this day I frequently go back to that conversation when I am conflicted about something.
You make it easier when life gets hard...
I am sure there are many more, but these are the ones that stand out in my mind most frequently. When I think about my career, when I question my beliefs, and when I need confidence in my decisions these are the conversations I remember.
I am grateful for these people, for their influence. I am grateful for the amazing people that are in my life today; for those who remind me where I came from and for those that challenge me to continue to where I am going.
Lucky to be in love with my best friend...
This year, I am determined, is going to be the best one yet. I am determined to leave the drama of 2010 behind and to have a calmer, less stressful year. I am fortunate to be in love with my very best friend, to be surrounded by incredible friends, and to have a loving family. With all of the good in my life, I can't imagine not having a good year.
Happy New Year!!
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